Sunday, September 22, 2013

the moon and true forgiveness

Between the month milestones
I don't think about the time
But when it gets close to the 22nd of a month, I look around
in panic searching out a calendar
I can't miss it!  How could I handle missing it??

And so far I haven't.
Four months, today

At dinner tonight, I lit our candles
over our fish sticks and sweet potato tater tots
we said our UU grace
and at the end I talked about how Daddy will always be in our hearts

Today, at church, a Buddhist quote hit me deeply
something about how we spend too much time
looking at the hand pointing at the moon
thinking that the hand actually is the moon

The hand pointing at the moon is not the moon

The writings of men and women
about religion
are not the religion
The idea is that WE ALL
have the ability to experience the love
these leaders carried with them
Jesus, Muhammad, Gandhi, Buddha...
the message is not the man.  The message is not the tale teller
The message is Itself.  Perhaps that is how I can believe in god
as the Message

And in my heart, something opened
Forgiveness
for when forgiveness is large enough
there is no hatred no all consuming sorrow
there is only here and now
knowing we all mess up
knowing nothing is perfect
nothing is finished
everything ends
Sensual sweetness and jagged edge
sharp spots are everywhere
and it is ok.

It is okay if you get cut in your travels.  We all do.
Sometimes we are even the ones
doing the damage.
forgive yourself
forgive the other
We close our hands around the sharp parts
sometimes
to keep others safe
Or we toss it and look the other way
and someone else gets hurt
some use the hard parts against others
in a misguided attempt at
protecting themselves.

Nothing is perfect
Everything ends
The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon

When I do miss one of the 22nd days of a month
it will be okay

I will just try to look for the moon, with my hands at my sides.