made me a momma

feeling lost and alone
so fiercely
I toss and turn in the bath

and I realize what I want
is a love poem

for my son

When he was a baby,
my world was his face
brimming with varied borders
because I couldn't
look away

his feet entranced me
I stared at them
in the dark
marveled over the fact
that
I
made
them
in my belly

every noise he made
I put him to my breast
till nothing would provide him peace
but momma's milk

when he was two
he realized
"I angel?"
yes, I call you Angel.
"I sweetie Pete?"
yup, I call you that too
"I kookah munga?"
haha! yeah, when you are goofy, I call you kookah munga.
"I Aiden"
yes.
And you are my love.  My magic.  My happy thought.

When he was four, he promised he would hug and kiss me
forever

He is only seven
and I try not to make him
the man of the house

because his father died

He lost his two front teeth
and yells at me when I giggle
at his newly formed lisp

His baby sister still snuggles like perfection
wrapped in magic
and finally his baby brother wants
to sleep with me

but he won't let me kiss him

and his hugs are brief whisper surprises
smacking together sideways
always when I am unprepared

spilling the golden hope and love and life from his eyes
into my heart
filling my bucket
to the brim