Thursday, September 22, 2016

Lessons in self love

The 22nd of the month
will always be a date of power:
the two of hearts
and two is better than one
and a number to the power of two is more
than twice itself

22 is the most powerful number in numerology
able to turn dreams into reality.

He died on the 22nd day of the 5th month
5, the number of harmony and balance

It seems he lived and died with power and balance.

And in the moment when unsolicited words
wash around your head
attempting to seep into your soul
you realize
that numbers
are everything

I am 42.  The Answer.
To life, the universe, and everything.

And in this 22nd day of the ninth month
I read that our fall equinox brings She Who is Black
and I dance inside, embracing her
for I do not see black as bad,
or death
I see it as a color that protects you, allowing you to
the power in

For Kali, the Black Mother, is shakti
Kali is existence

And I, also
am power
I am

I live in the shadow of his death
learning to love in me
what makes others cringe

My voice is LOUD
so loud it cannot be lost, will no longer be languid

My love is large
larger than mere life
for I have lived to hold the hand of death
and I see

I see that destruction can be
I am tender and tough
crying and raging

and continuing.

No coin has only one side
and lo my coin spins
and spins again
one moment grieving
one moment living

I have faced that which stood beside me
which I wished would never die

I will face what lives inside me
that must die

I will devour the weakness that makes me stumble
in favor of the strength that makes me speak

There is change coming

And toward it I dance
singing loudly
wielding both and pen
and a sword

laughing large and loud
swing wide my arms
to embrace it