ahhh. life. and death....and trying and screwing up....
I am 40, and I finally realized something major tonight
I am a good person.
That may sound silly, to have only just realized that
with some of the things I have done
but it's true
the thought is new
I make bad choices
I flirt with the "wrong" people
I am often selfish
regularly some version of foolish
there are just so many more curves
far more than anyone ever told me about
there are shades of gray
there are levels of love
and fear and loss and pain
we find our way like blind serpents
fumbling and crashing our way
through trying to be
the fairy princess....
only to find we are a frog.
or a broken doll
or a sweet little something
with only half a wing
half a crown
dodging bullets and punches and swords
meandering through a forest full of
fire and confusion
I know I have made choices
even, at times, hurtful
it does not
change my heart. My heart wants to believe
and hope and something eternal.
so yes. I'm 40. And I only just tonight realized
I'm a good person.
mistakes and foolishness, pain, loss, confusion and all...
it helps a good bit.
It would fix something.