Monday, October 28, 2013

Aims, ambitions, and goals in life...?

The assignment is to write a paragraph detailing your aims, ambitions, and goals in life.  Then, figure out how much progress you are making towards them.

I have never been particularly goal oriented.  I am much more free spirited.  If I had a goal or goals, I guess they would be to help others, children in particular, to travel, and to find ways to not carry the wounds of my family's past into my future.  When I was in college, getting ready to graduate, I wanted to go into the Peace Corps.  I thought, if I don't get in, I would move somewhere warmer than Maine and do something with kids.  I was rejected and so I moved to Virginia and ended up working for St. Joseph's Villa- the longest continuously operating children’s nonprofit organization in the country.  I worked for the Dooley School, aiding for elementary aged students who had been kicked out of public schools.  I also worked a little at the homeless shelter.  During my schooling in Maine, I worked in a Nursery School as an aide for kids with special needs, I volunteered at a domestic violence shelter as a kid worker.  Additionally, I have had a chance to travel throughout Europe and Australia, as well as a little bit through South America.  As for healing the wounds of my family's past, I have learned to understand that the verbal abuse that rained down on me during my teenage years was born of a twisted desire to keep me from harm.  It came from the fear my grandmother carried in her heart that I would fall victim to some of the same awful things that she did.  I have forgiven both her and my mother.  I still strive to find ways to let go of the confusing mental tapes they implanted as a grew to adulthood.  So I suppose, when things are totaled, I have done a pretty good job of reaching my goals.  For now, I want to find a way to get through the grief of losing my husband to cancer in the healthiest way possible.  I want to be a strong, loving, positive role model for my children.  I desperately want to get to a place where I am open to love again.  Right now, my goals have to do with surviving, healing, facing pain so that I don't hide from it but heal within it, like a piece of iron in a forge.

That might be more than a paragraph.