Will I ever be done?

too much time
feeling the lonely aches
not enough time
letting the pain through

till too much
piles up
and other things drift away
so...
all of a sudden
the world
               without him
seeps in

Reality creeps into
every pore
till there's no room left
for the tears I hadn't known
I was holding
inside.  Like someone turning
on a faucet
they come
and they don't stop
not for anyone

All the layers
of empty and full
twist and curl
combining in my head
writhing and convulsing
some alien creature growing

A woman says she is no longer
who she had been
which makes me wonder
who I am becoming

and how I will know
when I
finally have
become.