Even if it's invisible

 

Tenses
and time
Are funny things
Wishes and thoughts
Dreams and what you
Think
Will be

I always wanted to be a
Mother
And
Never wanted to
Without their
Father
Beside me

It's not a game
Mating and growing old
You have what you've
Always had

You've got me

Broken and mad
And weaker than any strong woman
Stronger than you ever
Could've dreamed

I have children now
But they don't know
Me

Not like I ever
Thought I'd be

When you spend a
Decade
Carrying death and the future and
Judgement
Aloneness and unrequited passion
Fear and frustration

It bends
Your back
Parts of you grow strong
You never knew existed
Other parts
Change

You have what you've always had
Me

I hear you
In the dark of breaking corners
Inside my mind
Broken? Tenses are hard
Will break unless

You remember
To love all the broken bits
You don't have to say it
Think it
Feel it
See

It in your heart

It's hard
Except foe in the soft spots
Where you cannot stand

But for a moment
I had you
And it hurts
That our kids cannot see
A me that wasn't quite
So
Breaking? Broken?

I will not break
Until I do

You have what you have
Always had

Sexy. Messy. Weak. Confused.
Strong. Smart. Lost.

Buy I am here.

And you have what you
Have always had
My children
His
Ours

You have not just mine
Me

But our
His

Love