Friday, May 29, 2015

layers and dances and being an ass

there are some words
that are letters, and not much more

there are other words
that have layers of worlds beneath each sound
each layer harboring a hero, a villain, magic, and mystics

Widow
is such a word

Once upon a time
a lost and broken girl
took steps
staggering and wobbly
like a wet, weak foal
towards the woman she could be...
and the winds blew in
the right
direction...lifting her
and she didn't just walk
she found a way
to fly

and in the happy ending
lived dirty laundry
a lack of money
and words that lacked the luster
of fairy tale beauty
and
there was touch
laughter
and most of all, a willingness to learn

There was a budding
burgeoning moment
where the seedling saw sunsets
and smelled the lilacs
and knew
KNEW
that there was a path paved, rocky, sometimes shadowed
pointed
in the right direction

and the dragons came
the demons
the villains and warlocks and curses and the
blackness

happy endings contain
the possibility of
ending

and so it did

too soon.

too realistically.

and still steps must be placed
down whatever that path still holds

one foot in front of another

black finger nails, polish chipped
sprained ankles in awkward boots with spiderman stickers
is that a job on the horizon?  or is it just
unemployment...
the irrelevance is almost maddening

because your feet are on the ground
and there are little ones surrounding you
there is no option
beyond learning
no focus beyond foundation

there is dance
because that fills you
there is music
because that lifts you
there is laughter
because that defines you

you move
through liquid loss and love and life
where everything
EVERYTHING
congeals
comes together in the strangest ways
spins apart in a pinwheel of color
and your desires and wishes
melt
until the crusting castles
left behind
are the crystallized bits of love and connection and loss and fear
that sparkle with hope

because hope
is what ties it all together

ribbons of multicolored hope
butterfly wings
landing on your elbow
tickling the sensitive skin
but beyond
easy sight

sticky sap residue
from pine cone castles

muddy faces and dirt blackened toes
tangled hair made gorgeous
by THAT smile

It's a dance
All of it
and in every dance,
the beauty comes
from making what might be a stumble
into the most magical
of dips and spins
and pirouettes.

So play that silent song
and dance like an ass

Because THAT
is what will get
you through.