Friday, April 25, 2014

mistakes? desire that cannot be denied

If clouds were real…
Passion or love
Desire need and loneliness
Magic and moments and bears and signs
Even though you do not believe
The past is finding me
Lost and circling
I imagine
Everything
I have
Nothing
I feel your weight on me, pressing me into the bed
I have nothing to compare this to
No magical metaphors and I must say
I hate
The romanticism that pervades these things
There is nothing romantic
About farting like a Clydesdale, or changing tampons
Morning hair and morning breath and a face bare of makeup
Of loving someone who does not belong to you
Of not being able to let well enough alone
I need
No one
I do not want to be alone
And you are so much more than I ever dreamed

At one time, it became apparent
What I wanted
More than anything in the world was

To be 
CHERISHED.  A simple word
With such power
To cherish
Which is to worship, which seems unwieldy
But to be wild about, to prize, dote on, adore…
What a woman wants…your arms
Like a strong foundation
Your lips
The perfect kindling
Your special parts pulling mine to you
With no strings or ties or rules or regard
For anything
I feel as though my feet are plugged into the heat

Of the Earth’s core
My heart sings the silent songs of each dead star
Still making our sky magic.
I know
So much of the underside
Perhaps it is foolish, childish, selfish
Perhaps I just don’t
Give a damn.