Still (For L)

I took some of your pain
It was food for me
Trying to help you heal
I pulled it from your heart
And forgot
To put it down

We were lying together
Side by side
Skin to skin
And I laid my hand upon your chest
And was enfolded in
Black

I do not believe you wanted
To let it all go.
It has become your shroud.

I have a secret for you, though.
You are not dead

Your shadow, she broke me
I have practice being broken
And still

Still I have struggled to breathe
Because you would not see me
You would not feel me, though I let you
Touch me.

How many nights
Did we lay upon upon my bed, you
Nibbling my belly ring?
Laughing and touching
Becoming
Something beyond
Who we are in the flesh

We always have choices.
Our souls were never
Merged and still
Still it hurts. For love
She knows no rules

And I loved you. Love you
And release you
Not because I want to
But because wanting you
Is killing me

You promised
In the dark
In the day
In bed and
On the phone
That you would never
Leave

And still, you did.

Even as I accepted the crumb
You could offer
Still, you felt that was

Too much.

Still
If you called to me
I would let you in

Love she is a fickle thing and when she settles
You have no choice but
To listen

I will always love you.
You saved a tiny piece of me
And your shadow, untamed,
Almost destroyed me

I love you still
In darkness and in light

You will always be my friend.

Will you ever listen
And hear my call? It's grown silent,
Or close to it.
And it vibrates still.

You are not alone. And still
I will always
Be beside you.