I've been herewe

 Hi

Grief is so weird. It never ends, ya know? And it changes bit stays the same. 

I'd like to share some things I've written.

FOR JUST A MOMENT...IT'S WORTH IT

When you hear it

Can you see?

When you Fear it

Can you feel? 

The wind 

She sings And screams 

Dances and drums

While the moon

Fades from 

Silver

To red

To orange and magic

Inside corset colors

Of lace and frustration 

Nothing gets 

Deleted when healing

Is on the line 

Listen 

It's harder than you think 

Ask

Because that too takes

Lakes of strength 

We are woven 

Together

A tapestry

Of human and ape

Chimp, chalice,, tortoise, maple, mica 

Erosion both breaks and builds 

Time is the gift

Our children struggle with

The barrier that bars us from seeing

Easily

Our hope in fruition 

And time 

Is the 

Thing 

That lets the roots

Grow too. 

Let Time 

Rumble

In your bones 

When you hear it

Can you see?

When you Fear it

Can you feel? 

When you wonder

Can you wait? 

Can you? 

INVISIBLE

I never
Is a game
Many of us have played
Hoping for a glimpse
Into the sexy
Parts
The hidden parts

And then
There is the pain place
Of
I'll never have

A room tinted green
Shameful and invisible
What did you do?
A question that bends
In on itself
Because so often

It's nothing

I didn't do it
Right

They cannot
See

FALLING

I never
Is a game
Many of us have played
Hoping for a glimpse
Into the sexy
Parts
The hidden parts

And then
There is the pain place
Of
I'll never have

A room tinted green
Shameful and invisible
What did you do?
A question that bends
In on itself
Because so often

It's nothing

I didn't do it
Right

They cannot
See
Me

Trust is hard
Hope is hard.
And even when you make
The hard choices...

You can still be
Invisble

FALLING

Do you know
How quiet the deep is?
We make believe so much,
Tip toe through the sore spots
With our screams swallowed
And strangling us

We are the ones
Left Behind
And we wonder
How do you turn the sound down
When there is none?

We walk
Like you do
With our secrets stuffed
Deep down
Chained to an Emptiness
So heavy
Our limbs bend in broken ways

But quietly
A quiet so deep it silences
So much around us

Like snow, it blankets our world
Swallowing foot steps
Tears
Hopes

Do you know
How quiet the deep is?

They say it's better to have loved
And lost
Than never to have loved at all but
What about the walking
After?

For years. Without.
Holding so much of it
In

Whispering
Always whispering
So loud
The tears tremble themselves dry
Before even
Falling

QUESTIONS 

When I was young
It was wondering
Why they fought
So
Much

Then it was
Where is he? Why doesn't
He wasn't to talk to me?

Then it was wondering
Where I'd go
Who I'd be
Who would
Stand
Beside me

Time turned
And I walked
In the woods
In college corridors
Wait staff hallways beneath
Restaurant buildings

So many
Lovers
Cigarettes
Tears
Lessons
Poems
Books

When you are widowed
Too young (what age is old enough? )
Your questions
Bend

It's about how
To get through
Not just day to day
But despair to hope (because there are kids)
Hurting to healing
Hating it all
To

Embracing
The pain
Because that blood
That rage
That
Fear

He has a name
The name is
Having Loved And Lost

And there's verses
And books
And songs
Lives
Written about
Him. Her. Them

Here's a secret:
The answer looks like nothing
You've ever
Seen

No matter what you've
Read
Written
Done

It's bloody footprint
After stupid mistake
After gorgeous victory

And it doesn't end
Till you do

Because their father
Is gone
Your best friend
Is gone
Your love and hope and future
Is gone

At least
How it was all almost
Written.

So.
The next one is about
How do you find the will
To not just breathe
Again

But how do you
Find a way
To live

Again

Me

Trust is hard
Hope is hard.
And even when you make
The hard choices...

You can still be
Invisble