Spinning... No One

Do you ever feel done? 

So done, all your extremities are dried
Numb
Buzzing
Your fingers, toes, nose,
dreams

Do you ever feel done?
Like, your tears may keep
Falling but
They are emptying the reserves
Till veins collapse
Dehydrated and folding in upon themselves

7 years
15 years
19 years
46
Years. My life time
Clawing at the edges of
The cylinder they dropped me down

A rocketship
A miner crawling on hands and knees
Chained and dragging someone else's treasure
A UFO
Zip zagging in make believe patterns
Across heaven
A hopeful, untouchable, homeless
Caress across infinite sky


Breathe
...
Count your pulse beats
Throbbing softly...
Breathe...

She is
Dead
So is he
And you are sewing your own
Safety net
With every breath
So full of human shaped holes

I feel
lazy, unworthy
Broken
Weak
Scared...so scared
As much as I am

A warrior
Strong as diamond facets spinning
Singing
Silent rainbow songs
Of petrichor ornaments that
Pirouette in pinwheeling patterns
Away from my weeping
Shining heart

Do you ever feel done?
So much fear filling your bones and
Spilling out your lonely lacrimal glands
Drowning in disconsolate
Desperate versions of you
Me

Longing for the breath of
You
Inside my
Lungs
Ornaments
Of life and blood and heart and
Broken stone, our bones woven stronger
Together

Do you ever
Feel?

Me...
You...
Pain like pin pricks behind anhydrous eyes?

Love, a reverberating scream too loud for
Breath and louder than the fear of
Hope?

Does anyone
Anymore
Choose to see? Hear?
Try?

I'm reaching...and still can see
trapeze twisting acrobats will die
With no one to catch them
No matter how brave they may be

Who
Will choose
To breathe
With me?

Catch me?