Cecilia Justine

When I close my eyes

I see you

And I see the dream

Of all I hope for you

Our tiny family

Danced

In the doctor’s office

When your nascent bottom

Sat square upon my belly

Showing us

For sure

You were a girl

My dream and my greatest fear

For I was raised by our women

I saw the power and pain

Of our women

We are women

 With wings, yes

And claws and

Talons and passion

And so

Much

Power


Like superhero lore

That power and passion

Comes paired

With layered lessons

Of responsibility.


Innocence ignited and

Ignored

Survival buried

The kindness

Abuse strangled

The hope

Trauma tortured

The tendrils of love


I got no stories from our women

I got name calling

Fear

Judgement


A beautiful 2 year old

Laughing and haloed in the Texas evening sun

“She’s so pretty, we’ll need to get her on birth control before she’s 12”

Stupid statements said without thought

And the trajectory of everything twists, tilts, and spills

Till it is MY turn

And Hell No.

I see you, judgement. Walk away.

I will hold her in my arms and soothe her screams

I lay beside her crib

My face pressed against the bars till I have imprints

For she will take no lovey object other than me

Hell NO is my response to past patterns.


You will own your own body

And find power in your voice alone

And I will amplify whatever you need said

If you even need

My voice


I have your tiny thin arms

That snake around my neck

And in their slithering motion, heal

Every muscle they pass


Your smile is as big as the biggest

Crescent moon

Curling around every part of me

That ever felt small

And lifting it larger than love


Your eyes are open ocean magic

Lit by luminous summer moon moans

Melting fear and pain and trauma

Into chances

And future

And fearlessness

Or courage…depending on the perspective


My dear

My darling

You are tiny pieces of me

Echoes of all

Of our women

And really

You are none of us


While all of us

Stand behind you

Beside your

Around you and within you


We are your ancestors

Living and dead

And you are the most beautiful

Imperfect

Stubborn

Feisty

Magical

Creative manifestation

Of no dream we have ever had


Thank heaven I have you,

May I always be worthy.

For I know very little in life as well as I know

That your love

Is the liquid elixir

That fixes nothing

And yet heal the holes

In every part of my aching

heart

And the hearts

Of all

Our women