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I feel caught and tangled in a foolish, human conundrum.  I feel my grief.  I only hide from it in places where I am told I must.  And I do not hide from my desire to find a way forward.  I know, however, that "forward" is a relative term.  It doesn't necessarily mean "ahead".  It refers, more aptly, to movement.  Not for movement's sake, exactly.  But for what the motion brings you...when you remain stagnant, your limbs and joints lock up.  So even if motion is stumbling, awkward, incomplete...it keeps the moving parts nimble.

What do I want?  I want a different place to live.  I mean that on so many levels.  How foolish and self centered is my heart?  I believe, at my core, that if things worked the way I wished, so many of us would be better off.  If we could just leave off judgement, jealousy, fear, hatred, and nastiness.  If we could just, as a PEOPLE and not a culture, embrace caring and helping, loving, connection, touch, tenderness, hope, and comfort...how much better off we would all be.

Why do we need "power over" when we can have connection that means so much more...that gives one a depth of "power", both over self and others...one that is more of a power WITH instead of power "over".

We are one.  ONE.  One soul, one body, one hope, one desire and one need.  Each "one" has so many names and faces that we get confused.  If only we could strip all that, and close our collective eyes and TOUCH each other...with sound and hand and hope and heart.  We could create and do and be so much more.  If only patience were as prolific as pain.  If only hope stronger than hatred...

Instead, we are caught and tangled.  Confused and closed and trying to find a way to "win".  When really, no one can do that..."win".  We are finite.  We are imperfect.  If only we could embrace that, embrace each other...we would be so much more.

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