mistakes? desire that cannot be denied

If clouds were real…

Passion or love

Desire need and loneliness

Magic and moments and bears and signs

Even though you do not believe

The past is finding me

Lost and circling

I imagine

Everything

I have

Nothing

I feel your weight on me, pressing me into the bed

I have nothing to compare this to

No magical metaphors and I must say

I hate

The romanticism that pervades these things

There is nothing romantic

About farting like a Clydesdale, or changing tampons

Morning hair and morning breath and a face bare of makeup

Of loving someone who does not belong to you

Of not being able to let well enough alone

I need

No one

I do not want to be alone

And you are so much more than I ever dreamed

At one time, it became apparent

What I wanted

More than anything in the world was

To be 

CHERISHED.  A simple word

With such power

To cherish

Which is to worship, which seems unwieldy

But to be wild about, to prize, dote on, adore…

What a woman wants…your arms

Like a strong foundation

Your lips

The perfect kindling

Your special parts pulling mine to you

With no strings or ties or rules or regard

For anything

I feel as though my feet are plugged into the heat

Of the Earth’s core

My heart sings the silent songs of each dead star

Still making our sky magic.

I know

So much of the underside

Perhaps it is foolish, childish, selfish

Perhaps I just don’t

Give a damn.